The Bear Market

With the shameful deficit of religious rhetoric in our society, youngsters of the 1980s grew up with the television as the sole source of moral teachings. And who delivered these lessons? Oh.. just a few… BEARS!

Let’s look at this little gem from the Care Bears, where they teach you that winning doesn’t matter. That’s like the Nazis trying to tell Britain in 1941 that ‘winning doesn’t matter’ as long as you have fun. Or, to use a more correct example, like bears telling youngsters that when the inevitable conflict between bear and man comes, don’t worry as long as you ‘try’:

Aww, isn’t that cute. When Share Bear hears that the kid lost and says ‘oh, that’s too bad’.. it doesn’t sound sincere does it? In any case, we mustn’t encourage little Billy to try hard at training to fight off bears, oh no, that would hurt his precious little soul. Let’s look at more propaganda:

Here, even though the two humans have the situation well in control, Share Bear comes riding in on a rocket to tell them that ’sharing their feelings is okay.’

Ahh… a clever ploy, Share Bear. Weaken the moral fortitude of our youth, so they’ll grow up watching Oprah and Dr. Phil instead of paying attention to websites like the ‘Bear Market.’

Finally, of course, we’re clearly seeing a nod in the direction of, oh, what’s that little word.. oh, yes, COMMUNISM. Share everything! Share your popsicle! Share bear encourages that! Share anything else. Like, oh, your agriculture? The fruits of your labour? Heck, why not just share your land. Under the direction of the central committee of care BEAR land.

Just remember, even though an animated bear may look cute, do you want it to be the last thing you see before you head off to the gulag?