The Bear Market

Our Manifesto
This blog is dedicated to one thing: The ever-present danger of bears slowly taking over our mass media. Stephen Colbert notwithstanding, the left-wing (read pro-bear) media, is refusing to admit the danger posed by bears.It is the duty of this blog to show the following:
1) There are a disproportionate number of bear-related stories in the media. This does not include sports teams such as the UCLA Bruins or Chicago Bears (in general), but it may include excessive use of the term “bear market.”
2) Bears, while adorable, are incredibly dangerous. Theodore Roosevelt knew this even in 1907, but the bleeding heart liberals of the time (who lie somewhere to the right of today’s white supremacists) refused to condone his bear killing. (Note: This blog refuses to call him “Teddy” Roosevelt. One should never be named after one of our species’ greatest enemies. Would we want a president named Man-Eating Shark Bush?)
3) Bears are not only dangerous and infiltrating our media, they are doing so because of a secret agenda to wipe humans off the face of the Earth so they might rule it themselves. Bears are likely responsible for, but not limited to, the following: 9/11, the Iraq War, supporting terrorists, communism, moral weakness, socialism, atheism, bearocracy, global warming, stock market crashes, and a countless number of direct-to-video Winnie the Pooh movies.
4) Bears! Run! NO! There’s no time go back for Jimmy! Run!

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