The Bear Market

Sadly, no title can do justice to the story that follows…. by bearmarket
July 31, 2008, 10:08 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

We’ve been waiting for a story like this here at the Bear Market for the better part of a year now. And finally, it has happened: Continue reading


Give a bear a fish and feed him for a day; Teach a bear to fish and doom us all to extinction by bearmarket
July 9, 2008, 11:07 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

(Above: A panda clings for dear life to a tree; Not pictured: The rioting townsfolk below who are tired of having their children devoured.)

Before we get into the horrifying story that “bears” this picture, how about a roundup of bears in the news? You say no? Well then clearly you are a bear. Continue reading

Bear-ack Obama? by bearmarket
June 25, 2008, 10:29 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Explain to me how the terrorists didn\'t just win?

You’re telling me my grandfather faked his own death at Iwo Jima to give us this?

Continue reading

“One small step for man…” by bearmarket
March 24, 2008, 5:07 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

“One giant pimp slap for bearkind.”

We have co-opted and destroyed a great quote from history to point out a recent news story about bears. (The Toronto Sun does this sort of thing all the time. If a pile of naked supermodels were found passed out in the middle of Yonge Street the headline would be something along the lines of “It was the breast of times…”)

Above: Inspiration for a metaphor in Rage Against the Machine lyrics.
Continue reading

9/11: The Bear Facts by bearmarket
January 23, 2008, 5:37 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , ,

We all remember the humbling events of September 11th, 2001. Before the dust had even settled at Ground Zero, conspiracy theorists were already crying out that something about the events of that day didn’t sit right with them. Somehow, the “official version” we were led to believe, was a lie. We here at the Bear Market believe that the 9/11 Truth Movement is missing the point of the events of that day, that they are looking in the wrong place for the government cover up.

Just moments ago, we received an email from a source that wishes to remain anonymous. Attached was a computer-enhanced version of the photo below, giving us a view of the approaching plane in a level of detail that was previously unavailable.


Continue reading

Bear Roundup: January 21 by bearmarket
January 22, 2008, 4:31 pm
Filed under: polar bears, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

1. We get it, the market is in trouble. Spare us puns like this.


(Above: The nightmarish future that awaits us if you don’t read this blog!)

More after the break. Continue reading

Bear Roundup: January 19 by bearmarket


(Above: A rascally black bear climbs a fence. Possibly to steal government secrets from the facility inside)

It’s been a busy day in bear news, as it always is. Here are a couple stories from today, plus some we missed earlier this week. Though given the bears’ tightening grip on our channels of information, it’s not surprising that stories are missed.

The Roundup continues after the break.

Continue reading